Gaining clarity is far less about finding it and more about simply accepting clarity.
Once people gain clarity, they talk themselves out of it as fear and a negative mindset takes over. Clarity comes to us as a whisper in less than a second stemming from our deepest desires, highest ambitions, and calmest moments.
Intrinsically we know what we want but it seems impossible to attain with 80% of your thoughts suppressing your intuition. I often hear people say “It’s my intuition, I knew it!” when in reality 80% of the time this aha moment is rooted in fear and a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have convinced yourself that the clarity you’re staring at isn’t clarity and as you stare at it through calm waters, you create waves and chaos only making matters worse.
Clarity comes to us as a whisper within seconds and if you start questioning it from a fear mindset beyond 3 seconds then you’ve just created the chaos covering up the treasure of clarity.
Fear is a destroyer of all that is good but there is a way to navigate the waters to find clarity. Here are some of the most effective strategies and tactics I use with my clients helping them gain clarity mindset as high performers.
Master your emotions
Emotions are signals telling you what is going on with you and your relationship to that situation. There’s this scene in Goonies where Mikey, our eager protagonist finds a cable on the ground next to Chester Copperpot. As he pulls this, it unleashes mayhem and looming death. There is a string connected from the experience we are facing straight to a number of our emotions.
In our stoic teachings at Bespoke, we focus on the need to master your emotions by understanding the root cause of your emotion and how to heal the source of that trigger. Now I fully understand that this is not something that can be fixed overnight but your emotions are arguably the number one blocker to finding clarity. I offer a course on mastering your emotions because of how complex it is and it’s vital to find a guide who can help walk you through the waters.
Let me offer a high-level look at what needs to be addressed to find clarity. There are 4 emotions that are at the core of self-sabotage and chaos addiction.
They are Fear, Shame, Guilt and Anger. If you have any of these emotions, they are clear red flags within yourself that need resolution.
The Art of Letting Go of the Outcome
I must admit, it was rather difficult to only include three strategies and tactics in this article because of how each modality resonates with different people. So when I talk about letting go I speak profoundly on how important this strategy is. I’m sure you’ve come across a post somewhere talking about how holding on causes more damage.
Let’s get practical about this as I illustrate one concept when it comes to letting go. Let go of the outcome. One major issue I see today in the world is the panic that plagues people as they worry like it’s a competition or they make fear-based decisions that emotionally are connected to anxiety.
When we are focused solely on the future and the outcome we create scenarios in our mind that cause resistance and drain our energy. You might find yourself frozen thinking about the outcome but fail to actually do the work. It’s ok to dream and I argue that is is necessary but like the Amway infomercial back in the 90’s you have to “set it and forget it”. Write down your goals and work backward on the steps it will take to get there.
Do you trust yourself to get there?
If you struggle with this question it could be one of several reasons one of them being that you’re battling with self-worth and requiring personal “proof”. Your perspective is based on external outcomes rather than trusting that you will do what it takes to get there. Another reason this question is triggering is that you lack faith that it will happen.
Why are you in such a rush?
This is one of my favorite questions to ask people along with myself. Oh yes, I practice what I preach. I have found myself in the past before my identity shift that I would be in a rush, pushing to burnout but there was an underlining reason that caused me to overwork. Personally, I found this chip on my shoulder always looking for external validation. I grew up in a family where I never got it as a child and it wasn’t until I started to validate myself that I slowed down. When we find the root cause of why we are rushing and shift our energy and focus we can transmute the energy into something productive.
How does this help with finding clarity? When you let go of the desire and energy you put into the lack of not having the outcome, you start to calm yourself. You can’t find clarity in a storm.
How well do you know yourself?
We are living in a world where the vast majority of people are battling their identity which has caused a mental health crisis. We have stopped listening to ourselves and as entitlement and ignorance grow through external consumption and toxic tribalism we have drifted even further away from who we are.
There’s a song I remember listening to by Ice Cube, Check Yo Self and there was a line that went “Check yo self before you wreck yourself”. If I could use this as a theme song for this modality I would. It’s you vs you in this world and the one person that needs to hold you accountable is yourself.
So how do you do this? Ask yourself questions before you react to anything. Here are some examples.
- Why am doing this?
- Why am I going to do that?
- What am I trying to achieve here?
- Why am I hesitating?
- Is this fear?
- Is this a trauma response?
- Am I resentful/bitter? → Acceptance
- Am I trying to fill a void with something external?
How does this help with clarity? This creates a relationship of trust with yourself. This forces you to stop focusing on external influences. Even if you go to someone for wisdom you must still be open to receiving it and if you don’t have answers to these questions, your mindset will be in defensive mode.
Put these to practice and let me know how they work out for you! Remember that these are just a few of the modalities we use at Bespoke by Bordeaux. It’s important to find what works for you and that is done through creating a bespoke personal brand.
For more information visit us at bespokebybordeaux.com or simply connect with me and let’s start a conversation.
I would love to hear what you’re actively overcoming. I want to see you win.